Good day!
Yesterday, I went to my first horseback riding lesson in four years. Four years... I hadn't realized it before, but it's really been that long since I was on a horse. Being at the barn with Larry, and even seeing Dusty the old dog... it was all so nostalgic, and wonderful.
My sister, mother and I all went in the morning towards 9:30 for the lesson at 10. We stopped at Tim's and got coffee etc. for everyone... and off we went. As soon as we pulled in the long driveway, Dusty started barking and running like there was no tomorrow. He ran up and greeted the van, then trotted along beside us until we parked. Jillian had her lesson with Larry first, and I enjoyed my cafe mocha... then, it was my turn. Wearing my red grad hoodie and Katie's old riding boots, I was about to really ride for the first time in four years.
I hadn't expected to be so excited, but I really was. I got on and off the horse all by myself, something I couldn't do before. I rode completely by myself. I had control... something I always lacked before, simply because at ten years old, I didn't have enough strength to properly tell the animal what I wanted him to do. Speaking of the animal, his name is Sullivan (or Sully). He's my cousin Katie's horse, and he's staying with Larry (a big name in all things equestrian around here) for training and such. He's a big chestnut gelding, he'll be 11 years old next Saint Patty's day.
Needless to really point out further, the lesson was amazing. Everything seemed perfect. It wasn't too warm or too cold outside, with a clear blue sky and a pleasant light breeze. i honestly couldn't have pictured it going any better than it did. Jillian was just beaming when she got off of Sully, she had been on a lead line. And afterward, I was too. I much look forward to regular lessons every Saturday at 10, now.
Yeah, that's the only thing that's bee going on lately... except Derrick is coming back to Riverview today! I can't wait to see him, I missed him so much. I gotta enjoy my last three weeks with him as much as I can, it's all we've got left.
Yours truly,
- Lexi
Music: The City is at War - Cobra Starship
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Long time no update.
Ahh, hello there Blogger. So sorry I haven't been around lately!
I've been out almost everyday, doing whatever with the guys... walking, watching movies, swimming and going to Magic Mountain, and being general teenagers. Everything seemed great until two nights ago, Monday night, when Derrick told me something I never wanted to hear. He's not staying, after summer is over... he had said he might be.
I won't lie, I feel heartbroken and devastated. I wanted him to stay, and go to RHS with me SO bad... and, now, that hope is just gone. My heart kind of stopped that night, and it's gonna take a while before it starts beating again. Meanwhile, things between Derrick and I are really rough. It's because I can't help but act so cold to him, after he told me he wasn't staying. I wanted that more than anything, right now. And, when I'm hurt like this, this is what I do... I curl up in a ball kind of, and just vent resentfulness to whoever did this to me. I know it's not Derrick's fault, he really did have to go back, to his brother and his family... but that doesn't change how upset I was, and still am. I cried non-stop that night... but then I talked to Daniel.
Daniel, Derrick's brother, told me that I had to try to be happy for Derrick. He said that he doesn't want to see me hurt, and that it was the hardest thing Derrick had ever done. So, I'm going to try to appreciate that, and put my own sour feelings behind me. I don't know how exactly I'm going to do that... but I have to try. It might be a little easier because Derrick isn't around right now. He's in Truro for his brother's birthday, which is today.
I really, really hope we can get through this. I don't want to lose him. And I think... no, I know, that we can get through another year. We will see our anniversary, and then our second. I love him, and that's all I need.
Yours truly,
- Lexi
Music: So Far by ChapterFour (Local band. YouTube it.)
I've been out almost everyday, doing whatever with the guys... walking, watching movies, swimming and going to Magic Mountain, and being general teenagers. Everything seemed great until two nights ago, Monday night, when Derrick told me something I never wanted to hear. He's not staying, after summer is over... he had said he might be.
I won't lie, I feel heartbroken and devastated. I wanted him to stay, and go to RHS with me SO bad... and, now, that hope is just gone. My heart kind of stopped that night, and it's gonna take a while before it starts beating again. Meanwhile, things between Derrick and I are really rough. It's because I can't help but act so cold to him, after he told me he wasn't staying. I wanted that more than anything, right now. And, when I'm hurt like this, this is what I do... I curl up in a ball kind of, and just vent resentfulness to whoever did this to me. I know it's not Derrick's fault, he really did have to go back, to his brother and his family... but that doesn't change how upset I was, and still am. I cried non-stop that night... but then I talked to Daniel.
Daniel, Derrick's brother, told me that I had to try to be happy for Derrick. He said that he doesn't want to see me hurt, and that it was the hardest thing Derrick had ever done. So, I'm going to try to appreciate that, and put my own sour feelings behind me. I don't know how exactly I'm going to do that... but I have to try. It might be a little easier because Derrick isn't around right now. He's in Truro for his brother's birthday, which is today.
I really, really hope we can get through this. I don't want to lose him. And I think... no, I know, that we can get through another year. We will see our anniversary, and then our second. I love him, and that's all I need.
Yours truly,
- Lexi
Music: So Far by ChapterFour (Local band. YouTube it.)
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
This sucks.
Well now, I haven't written in a few days. I'm afraid I don't have much to report today, either.
Two days ago, Thomas and his girlfriend Taylor were visiting New Brunswick to go to a beach in Cap-Pele, so we decided to go meet them there in the evening. So it was Derrick, Frankie, Taylor, Thomas and I, all just kinda hanging out there on the beach... none of us did much swimming though, for various reasons.
Someone had the great idea of burying Frankie in the sand (it was totally his idea, too.), so, we started, and then decided to make him a mer-person. So we did, and the tail, if I do say so myself, was pretty impressive. The whole thing was really.Seeing as how we were all very amateur sand-sculptors, it turned out well. Many laughs were had, and many a picture were taken, one of them being my new favorite picture ever. It's of the five of us, Frankie engulfed in sand. The picture, which I edited, is at the bottom of this post.
Also, it's 27 degrees outside, and NO ONE IS AROUND! All my friends aren't around right now... Derrick and Frankie are still sleeping, Melissa is at camp, Sarah is in Moncton, Josh is in Saint John and I think Ryan is working. I'm still not talking to Brett. Grrr, this stinks! It's prime swimming weather out there! Warm, sunny, and not too too humid either... it's a beautiful day, and I'm in here wasting away, writing in my blog and listening to Tool. So, I think I'm going to pull on my Converse and go force the boys out of bed... they'll thank me later.
That's me, Frankie and Derrick in the front, and Taylor and Thomas in the back. Yeah, we're pretty awesome. Since you probably can't read it, it says "And in twenty years... these will be the days we remember." and at the bottom it says, "I love you."
Yours truly,
- Lexi
Music: Right in Two by Tool. That song is EPIC, man. Go listen to it. Like, right now. (link'd.)
Two days ago, Thomas and his girlfriend Taylor were visiting New Brunswick to go to a beach in Cap-Pele, so we decided to go meet them there in the evening. So it was Derrick, Frankie, Taylor, Thomas and I, all just kinda hanging out there on the beach... none of us did much swimming though, for various reasons.
Someone had the great idea of burying Frankie in the sand (it was totally his idea, too.), so, we started, and then decided to make him a mer-person. So we did, and the tail, if I do say so myself, was pretty impressive. The whole thing was really.Seeing as how we were all very amateur sand-sculptors, it turned out well. Many laughs were had, and many a picture were taken, one of them being my new favorite picture ever. It's of the five of us, Frankie engulfed in sand. The picture, which I edited, is at the bottom of this post.
Also, it's 27 degrees outside, and NO ONE IS AROUND! All my friends aren't around right now... Derrick and Frankie are still sleeping, Melissa is at camp, Sarah is in Moncton, Josh is in Saint John and I think Ryan is working. I'm still not talking to Brett. Grrr, this stinks! It's prime swimming weather out there! Warm, sunny, and not too too humid either... it's a beautiful day, and I'm in here wasting away, writing in my blog and listening to Tool. So, I think I'm going to pull on my Converse and go force the boys out of bed... they'll thank me later.
Yours truly,
- Lexi
Music: Right in Two by Tool. That song is EPIC, man. Go listen to it. Like, right now. (link'd.)
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
"Hope and pray that you'll never need me, but rest assured I will not let you down."
Hello all you people out there in blogger-land!
I haven't gotten around to updating this the last few days, and that sucks... I guess not a lot has happened worth mentioning, besides Derrick coming back. You wouldn't believe how happy I was to see him at the bus station... now, lets see if I can remember the last few days.
Well, two days ago, Frankie, Derrick and I all went to see Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. Again. Well, me and Frankie had seen it, but Derrick hadn't... and Frank and I liked it enough to see it again. Ted drove us there, which was nice. So that's what we did Monday night. Then yesterday, Ted, Frankie's older brother and my cousin, had the day off and offered to take me and the boys to Magic Mountain, because we all have passes... those things sure are worth it. So, we went in the afternoon and all was well. The last few days have been great, really, except for the ever-changing weather. It's still overcast and rainy, and horribly humid. It makes everything feel heavy and tired, it's horrible.
That reminds me. Today, I slept in until 1PM, which is bad... I hate oversleeping like that, but I keep staying up late... it's not a good habit, and I gotta get out of it. School starts in a little more than a month, and my sleeping schedule is all out of whack, and... wait.
SCHOOL STARTS IN A LITTLE MORE THAN A MONTH?!
Holy fuzz nuggets, Batman. Half the summer is gone! There are ten more days in July, and then all of August... and sometime during the first week of September, I'll have my first school day at Riverview high School, or RHS for short. I can't believe 9 out of 13 years of my primary education are already behind me... here I am, going into grade 9, the first year of high school... I don't feel like a high school student. I still feel like a kid.
Okay, enough. I sound like I'm forty or something. Derrick should be coming over soon... actually, he should have been here a few minutes ago. I wonder where he is... I'll call over.
Yours truly,
- Lexi
Music: Citizen Soldier by 3 Doors Down
I haven't gotten around to updating this the last few days, and that sucks... I guess not a lot has happened worth mentioning, besides Derrick coming back. You wouldn't believe how happy I was to see him at the bus station... now, lets see if I can remember the last few days.
Well, two days ago, Frankie, Derrick and I all went to see Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. Again. Well, me and Frankie had seen it, but Derrick hadn't... and Frank and I liked it enough to see it again. Ted drove us there, which was nice. So that's what we did Monday night. Then yesterday, Ted, Frankie's older brother and my cousin, had the day off and offered to take me and the boys to Magic Mountain, because we all have passes... those things sure are worth it. So, we went in the afternoon and all was well. The last few days have been great, really, except for the ever-changing weather. It's still overcast and rainy, and horribly humid. It makes everything feel heavy and tired, it's horrible.
That reminds me. Today, I slept in until 1PM, which is bad... I hate oversleeping like that, but I keep staying up late... it's not a good habit, and I gotta get out of it. School starts in a little more than a month, and my sleeping schedule is all out of whack, and... wait.
SCHOOL STARTS IN A LITTLE MORE THAN A MONTH?!
Holy fuzz nuggets, Batman. Half the summer is gone! There are ten more days in July, and then all of August... and sometime during the first week of September, I'll have my first school day at Riverview high School, or RHS for short. I can't believe 9 out of 13 years of my primary education are already behind me... here I am, going into grade 9, the first year of high school... I don't feel like a high school student. I still feel like a kid.
Okay, enough. I sound like I'm forty or something. Derrick should be coming over soon... actually, he should have been here a few minutes ago. I wonder where he is... I'll call over.
Yours truly,
- Lexi
Music: Citizen Soldier by 3 Doors Down
Friday, July 17, 2009
Boredom entries for the win?
It's mid-afternoon, no one is online to talk to, and it's drizzling outside. I'm terribly bored, so blogger, I turn to you.
I have no idea what I should write about, seeing as the most interesting thing that's happened yet today was me making rice for lunch and reading a Woman's Home Journal magazine. I wonder why my mom is even subscribed. She never reads magazines... and when she does, it's Soap Opera Digest that she buys at Super Store, anyway.
So, am I doomed to rot away in my room on this dreary summer afternoon? it appears so. normally, when I feel like this, I go for a walk. But I don't want to get caught in heavy rain if I do... blehh. This is the worst kind of weather. I'd rather it just downpour all day than stay like this. At least then, it's over when it's over. But this drags on for days, sometimes weeks at a time.
It reminds me of when I was in Mexico earlier this year. Oh right, I never explained that. Well, long story short, I went on a student exchange program with my school to stay with a family in Mexico City for two weeks, along with about 18 other kids from Riverview Middle and Riverview High. I didn't actually have that great a time, because of a few varying factors... but really, because I let Anna know something I shouldn't have, and it's something that near ruined the trip. At least I had the experience of seeing some ancient ruins, magnificent museums, and absorbing a bit of a third language.
The reason it makes me think of there is because it NEVER rains there! Every single say, for the two weeks I stayed, there wasn't a cloud in the sky! it was always sunny,hot, and clear. I mean, I went in late February/early March, and the weather was like the summer weather in Canada, except no rain. I think it's one of the parts I miss the most about it... that, and the food.
It's really kinda sad when you think about it. I went to have a great time, and make a "best friend for life". Anna, the girl who kept me... I'm pretty sure she hated me, or at least found me annoying. She treated me like I barely existed, and spoke in constant rapid Spanish to her friends, when she knew I couldn't understand and she was plenty fluent in English. The experience was not all I expected it to me... and I was the only one who felt that way. Everyone else had a wonderful time and made new friends and such... and I was kind of forgotten. Even when the Mexican students came to stay with us a few weeks later, I didn't get an exchange student.
But the worst of it all? The whole reason I didn't have a good time really, and that little bit of info I told Anna... I can't tell me parents how I feel and why. To them, it was just kind of like "Oh, well Anna and Alex just didn't mesh very well." That's true too, but the real reason, I have to hide. They don't know something about me yet, and I told Anna, and she freaked out, and... oh, it was just horrible. It was a bit of a wake-up call to how cruel people can be sometimes, and how afraid we are of what we don't understand...
Well, I think that's enough basking in painful memories.
And as a side note, I miss Derrick a lot. I want him back already...
Yours truly,
- Lexi
Music: Careless Whisper by Seether
I have no idea what I should write about, seeing as the most interesting thing that's happened yet today was me making rice for lunch and reading a Woman's Home Journal magazine. I wonder why my mom is even subscribed. She never reads magazines... and when she does, it's Soap Opera Digest that she buys at Super Store, anyway.
So, am I doomed to rot away in my room on this dreary summer afternoon? it appears so. normally, when I feel like this, I go for a walk. But I don't want to get caught in heavy rain if I do... blehh. This is the worst kind of weather. I'd rather it just downpour all day than stay like this. At least then, it's over when it's over. But this drags on for days, sometimes weeks at a time.
It reminds me of when I was in Mexico earlier this year. Oh right, I never explained that. Well, long story short, I went on a student exchange program with my school to stay with a family in Mexico City for two weeks, along with about 18 other kids from Riverview Middle and Riverview High. I didn't actually have that great a time, because of a few varying factors... but really, because I let Anna know something I shouldn't have, and it's something that near ruined the trip. At least I had the experience of seeing some ancient ruins, magnificent museums, and absorbing a bit of a third language.
The reason it makes me think of there is because it NEVER rains there! Every single say, for the two weeks I stayed, there wasn't a cloud in the sky! it was always sunny,hot, and clear. I mean, I went in late February/early March, and the weather was like the summer weather in Canada, except no rain. I think it's one of the parts I miss the most about it... that, and the food.
It's really kinda sad when you think about it. I went to have a great time, and make a "best friend for life". Anna, the girl who kept me... I'm pretty sure she hated me, or at least found me annoying. She treated me like I barely existed, and spoke in constant rapid Spanish to her friends, when she knew I couldn't understand and she was plenty fluent in English. The experience was not all I expected it to me... and I was the only one who felt that way. Everyone else had a wonderful time and made new friends and such... and I was kind of forgotten. Even when the Mexican students came to stay with us a few weeks later, I didn't get an exchange student.
But the worst of it all? The whole reason I didn't have a good time really, and that little bit of info I told Anna... I can't tell me parents how I feel and why. To them, it was just kind of like "Oh, well Anna and Alex just didn't mesh very well." That's true too, but the real reason, I have to hide. They don't know something about me yet, and I told Anna, and she freaked out, and... oh, it was just horrible. It was a bit of a wake-up call to how cruel people can be sometimes, and how afraid we are of what we don't understand...
Well, I think that's enough basking in painful memories.
And as a side note, I miss Derrick a lot. I want him back already...
Yours truly,
- Lexi
Music: Careless Whisper by Seether
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Being loved? Yeah, it can kinda suck sometimes.
Grrrr. I thought Derrick was going to be back today, but he's not. He's only coming back Saturday... I miss him.
The last two days, I've gone to the pool with my guy friends... cause the only two girl friends I have (Sarah and Melissa) are away. Mel is at cadet camp and Sarah is in Moncton with her dad... so it's just been me and a few of my favorite boys for a while. Yesterday it was Brett, Josh and me, and today, Ryan came with us too. There's nothing wrong with just hangin' with the guys once and a while... it's kind of bringing out a bit of my old tomboy personality. And that's kinda cool. Brett, my friend since first grade, says he noticed it too.
I'm a bit worried about Brett, actually, because I'm fairly sure he's not at ease with the feelings he has for me right now... feelings of far more than just friendship. It bothers me, because I don't want him to not get along with Derrick. He's my best friend and Derrick is my boyfriend, how can I deal with it if there's too much friction? I'm not about to leave Derrick because of Brett's leftover romance for me... so I might have to limit my contact with Brett instead. Jeeze, I'm losing friends left and right the last few weeks. This sucks.
Yours (regrettably) truly,
- Lexi
Music: Our Truth by Lacuna Coil (that song is an epic in musical form. Youtube it, or something.)
The last two days, I've gone to the pool with my guy friends... cause the only two girl friends I have (Sarah and Melissa) are away. Mel is at cadet camp and Sarah is in Moncton with her dad... so it's just been me and a few of my favorite boys for a while. Yesterday it was Brett, Josh and me, and today, Ryan came with us too. There's nothing wrong with just hangin' with the guys once and a while... it's kind of bringing out a bit of my old tomboy personality. And that's kinda cool. Brett, my friend since first grade, says he noticed it too.
I'm a bit worried about Brett, actually, because I'm fairly sure he's not at ease with the feelings he has for me right now... feelings of far more than just friendship. It bothers me, because I don't want him to not get along with Derrick. He's my best friend and Derrick is my boyfriend, how can I deal with it if there's too much friction? I'm not about to leave Derrick because of Brett's leftover romance for me... so I might have to limit my contact with Brett instead. Jeeze, I'm losing friends left and right the last few weeks. This sucks.
Yours (regrettably) truly,
- Lexi
Music: Our Truth by Lacuna Coil (that song is an epic in musical form. Youtube it, or something.)
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