I give blood just to prove to myself that I can matter to somebody else...

I'm trying to stay positive, blog, I really am.

But, today I had the first parts of this huge ass English test that I have to pass in order to get my high school diploma. I'm not really worried about it, I mean, I can read and write English very ably, but everyone else seems so stressed out. And next week is exams, too, which I have three of. After exams I get a week off though. Yay!

But in the meantime, it's total crunch time. Everyone's rushing to get projects and marks in for report cards in a week or so, and it's reviews, reviews, reviews up the wazoo! I have a seemingly INFINITE amount of math and science revisions I've been working on all week, and it's just... so... much... work. None of it is hard, it's just time consuming. And annoying.

I'm sure I speak for my entire high school when I say I cannot WAIT until exams are over. We'll have our turnaround days and a nice long weekend, everyone can just chill out, and we can go back to school and start our new courses for second semester.

Here's hoping I make it alive.

Yours truly,

- Lexi

Music: Savior - Rise Against

Hook me up a new revolution, cause this one is a lie

Just a short little update on this Monday evening, because it's kind of late and I want to go to bed really.

I came home from school again today with a migraine. Goddamn, these things have been really getting me down lately. I was put out of commission for part of the day that I'm usually productive, and the rest of it has been just sluggish and kinda awful. Grr this sucks, I hope they go away soon. It used to be once a month, now I get them every other day it seems. Grr. @_@

On a different note, I've decided to keep a tally of a few different things this year, like how many bandannas I bought, how many songs I downloaded, how many Tetriminos locked down... and how many times I've lost the game. We're, what, only two and a half weeks into 2010 right? I've already lost the game 107 times. I shit you not. Not 50, not even 75, but a hundred and fucking seven. Like really. I need to get my priorities straight. Losing the game should not be taking up so much of my life.

Oh, also, I celebrated one month with Ryan yesterday. I'm so much happier with him it's amazing. I hadn't realized what it was like to have support and love like this all the time... I don't know how I went so long without it before, weeks at a time. I hope Derrick can understand someday that what I did was just because I wanted to be happy... that's not a crime. I don't feel guilty for being happy anymore. I'm enjoying life so much right now. Everything is just... good. I'm not bored, Ryan brought so much spice and energy into my life. I'm not exhausted, I'm healthy for the most part. I've got my loved ones, my health, and I've got happiness. Let's hope I can ride this little wave for a while before something happens and I'm in the doghouse again. Gotta make the most of this while I can.
Life is good now, blog.

Yours truly, without a single regret,

- Lexi

Music: Learn to Fly - Foo Fighters (Haven't heard this song in ages... I forgot how it put me in such a good mood.)

And just past your lips, there's more anger than laughter...

Ohai dere.

So I'm not feeling so hot today. Stayed up wayyyy too late last night doing a science project (which did get finished, FINALLY) and this headache is telling me I'm suffering from sleep withdrawal... I need a cat nap.

But anyway, I didn't post just to complain. The other day, someone did something very nice for me and I thought I should write it here so that in however many years when I read this again (assuming the internet still exists) I'll remember, because I think it's important when people do nice things for me to remember them for it.

Well anyway, about this lovely event. It was very cold outside and I was, once again, very tired(I think it's just part of the teenage condition). We didn't want to walk to the local Tim Horton's for lunch because it was so cold, but an acquaintance of mine, Taryn, was. Now, Taryn doesn't seem to really mesh well with my circle of friends. She is... well... a tad on the annoying side, but she's lovable to be honest. Well, she offered to bring me back a coffee! It's a fairly long walk from Tim's back to our high school, so I though that was a really sweet thing of her to do. She didn't have to walk all the way back carrying my coffee, she didn't have to offer at all. But she did, and she brought back my double-double and nearly saved my life I think. I was very thankful, and it was an awesome thing of her to do.

So that was possibly the highlight of my week. I just love when other people do nice things like that, it gives me hope for humanity.

In other news, I look forward to my riding lesson tomorrow morning, so here's to hoping its not too cold. This weekend I may find myself to be a bit lonely, seeing as Kelsey will be with her grandparents away from R'view, and Ryan is out in Saint John for a tournament. He won't be back until late Sunday, but Kelsey might be back early Sunday so I may get to see her. I hope Ryan does well at his tournament, and he has a good time. Go Blues!

Yours truly,

- Lexi

Music: The Hard Way - Fort Minor

I was born to tell you I love you... isn't that a song already? I get a B in originality...

So, back to school this week.

I missed school. No, really, I did. I missed having a specific reason to get up in the morning, and follow a morning routine. I had no motivation to do so really, when school wasn't in. I'm kept busy for most of the day, which means it keeps em off this damn computer. Its sucking the life out of me, I'm afraid. I spend way, WAY too much time here. I need to be more active... my shoulders hurt from being hunched over this desk and I'm staying up way too late doing... basically nothing. Less computer = healthier Lexi. This is what we want. I did resolve to be generally healthier this year, after all. Still working on that gym membership..

Ugh. I really hope I make myself do this. I need it. Obesity runs in my family, and there is no way I ever want to be that way... I'm at least minorly lipophobic (fear of fat). I... I just can't let that happen to me. No way.

Okay, moving on to a happier note now, I'm going to a concert tomorrow! oh hell yes, that's right. Its one of the many local metal shows are that held in my area every year. They're awesome. A bunch of local bands play and I CAN'T WAIT for tomorrow night. Its called Metal New Year. Two of my favorite local bands are going be playing. <3 And what's even better, is that I'm going with Kelsey, Brett and Ryan. All but one of my favorite people. It's gonna be so awesome, I'm so excited its kind of silly. I love the music, I love the people, I love moshing, and I love metal shows. Hehehe. <3

ONLY 22 HOURS UNTIL METAL NEW YEAR.
HOOOOOOOOLY SHIT I'M SO EXCITED.

Yours truly,

- Lexi

Music: Life Starts Now by Three Days Grace (the whole new album is good, I listened to it online last night.)

Resolutions, anyone?

So last night was New years Eve, which I spent with Sarah, Frankie and Ryan. What a night, it was so much fun. <3

-MY RESOLUTIONS FOR 2O1O-
- Eat healthier (more fruits and veggies, less cheese.)
- Have a flat stomach by summer time (obtain this goal by getting a gym membership at RHS.)
- Obtain another piercing or two?
- Participate in the Frye Festival this year
- Get a first job
- Mend my relationship with Derrick Never think about Derrick again, for the sake of my sanity.
- Remember those three things you were always told to avoid... and AVOID THEM, DAMNIT.
- And last but not least, have fun. I'm in high school now. Time to do all the crazy shit I can.

I'd say that's a good enough list. I've got a lot of work to do.
To anyone who reads this, leave me a comment with your resolutions for this new year.

Yours truly,

- Lexi

Music: Tik Tok - Kesha (I can't help it, man. That song is so damn catchy.)

Happy New Year, all.

It was only recently that I noticed how much I've changed over the last year. 2009 has been awesome to me... nothing super messed up has happened, no one died, I haven't gotten abducted by aliens, and none of my exes want to kill me. I made no enemies, only friends. And on top of all that, I made my arrival in high school and have survived four months generally unscathed. I think I'd call that a successful year.

But anyway, that's not what I wanted to talk about. What I wanted to do was compare myself now to myself at the beginning of this year. So...

Then:
- Eww, color. Black. <3
- I wanna learn piano omg. <3
- Hair all one color, or a fail with semi-permanent
- No makeup, all natural.
- Jewelry is for noobs.
- Accessories consist of studded bracelets only.
- Converse rip-offs from Airwalk
- Judgmental and critical of ALL THINGS.
- All my writing is structured and is never posted until I'm 100% happy with it.

Now:
- Still mostly into black, but loving other colors, specifically purple and green. <3
- Omg acoustic guitar. <3
- Awesome two-tone blond and copper red hair. Hell yeah.
- Makeup is good in moderation.
- Love jewelry, especially necklaces.
- Bandannas, scarves, hats and gloves please! (still loving studs though.)
- Two pairs of Converse; one from Toronto and one from Mexico. <3
- More laid back, it's all good man. :]
- More free writing and less structure is good.

I am very satisfied with the changes I have made. Life is going well for me as of now, and 2010 is looking good too. Christmas is only a few days away, I'm at the beginning of a steady relationship, my family is all intact and I can't think of how things could be a whole lot better. Time to embrace the new year with open minds and hope for the best. This will be my last entry of this year.

It's been a good one, guys.
2010, here I come!

Yours truly,

- Lexi

Music: Misery Business by Paramore